• 14 May 2010 /  weird stuff

    Out of the blue, for no reason whatsoever and in the interests of better communications, some (possibly new) smileys:

    o_0 < - "This is bizzarro"
    0_o <- "Yep, still strange"
    =_0 <- "Let's try with one eye to see if it looks any better"
    0_= <- "Maybe close the other eye?"
    =_= <- *squint* or, "I take a dim view of this"
    0_0 <- "Yikes!"
    >_< <- "Godammit"
    8_8 <- "Aliens clearly invented this"
    @_@ <- "Holy cow!" or big puppy-dog eyes
    9_9 <- "There they go again", eyes rolling
    Q_Q <- "Uh oh"
    *_* <- "I. Want. That."
    6_9 <- "I've gone completely nuts!"
    T_T <- *sniffle*
    ^_^ <- smile
    n_n <- even smilier
    >.> <- “Do you think they noticed?”
    <.< <- “Nope, don’t think they did”
    .__. <- “Bored now. Can I leave?”
    x_X <- “Kill me now, please” i.e., Friday afternoons and early Monday mornings
    ~_^ = *wink!*

    * * *
    You may now return to your regularly scheduled serious business.

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  • 29 Dec 2009 /  Poser, art, weird stuff, writing
    The BPA Sent Help

    The BPA Sent Help

    Courtesy of Ed Averill of Austin, TX:

    Frozen Zombie-Land (To the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

    Sirens blare, are you listening,
    In a pool, blood is glistening
    A horrible sight,
    Surely a fright.
    Screaming in a frozen zombie-land.

    Gone away are the living
    Lots of brains, they were giving
    We’re shouting in fear
    As they grow near
    Screaming in a frozen zombie-land.

    In the meadow we can stack the corpses,
    Plenty of them all around the town
    We’ll say: are they buried?
    They’ll say: no man!
    A zombies place just isn’t underground!

    Later on, we’ll perspire
    As we set them afire
    We’re deathly afraid
    Of the monsters we’ve made
    Screaming in a frozen zombie-land.

  • 03 Sep 2009 /  rants, weird stuff

    Who sees small, round, middle-aged women like me? Nobody. We’re invisible; people down in the station try to run me over constantly.  In fact, if I wanted to create a completely successful crime organization, I would staff it totally with middle-aged women. Nobody would suspect a thing. Like this:

    Bank robber: “Put the money in the bag, dear. NOW. And wipe the tomato sauce off your chin. Thank you!”

    Crooked Accountant: “Nobody will suspect that we’re laundering money through  minority educational funds and  homes for stray cats.”

    Embezzler: “Who will miss that 1/4 cent per Macy’s charge account? …about 5 zillion of them… And some nice shoes…ooooh, cute shoes…”

    Computer fraud: Security officer: “Who is this ‘AntiSarah’ and how did she manage to divert an entire train car of fudge sauce to Cincinnati?”

    Carjacking: *Pulls .45 out of large handbag* “Out of the car, dear. NOW. Here’s cab fare.” *buckles seat belt* *vanishes in a squeal of burning rubber*

    Drug lord: Competition says, “Who dat bitch selling train car full of hot fudge sauce to diabetics? Dey puttin’ me outta bidness!”

    Prostitution: Prostitute B:  “How come you not freezin yo titties out here?” Prostitute A: “She make me wear dis sweater wit’ da hotpants.”

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  • 20 Aug 2009 /  weird stuff

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

  • 31 Jul 2009 /  weird stuff

    I have them on my back deck. Bet you do, too. Who knew that they were…well, the next big ‘Net meme!

    This blog is hysterical as it is, but ZOMG, the Chair… you must read about the Chair.

    UPDATE:

    More chairpr0n on Flickr.

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